There seem to be plenty of unwritten rules about gray hair, curly hair, bangs, and what supposedly works at a certain age. I’ve been ignoring some of them for years.
At my last appointment, I decided to add bangs to the list. I told my stylist I was ready to go a little bolder and described what I had in mind. As we talked it through, we landed on something close to a wolf cut. More layers, more movement, and, most importantly, bangs. And of everything we changed, the bangs may be my favorite part.
Going gray wasn’t exactly a bold move on my part. By the time I stopped coloring my hair more than nine years ago, I was simply tired of fighting the increasingly obvious line of demarcation every few weeks.
What surprised me was how much I ended up really liking the gray once I let it grow in. In Let’s Go Bananas: A Journey To Going Natural, I shared some of the early parts of my transition.
The curls go back even further. I’ve been wearing my hair almost exclusively curly for more than 20 years, though that doesn’t mean I’ve had them figured out for all that time. Products have changed, techniques have changed, and of course my hair itself has changed.
Even now, I’m still learning what works best, but I’m much better at working with my curls instead of trying to make them do something they don’t want to do. But bangs, they’re a different breed altogether, aren’t they?
Maybe that’s because bangs come with their own set of warnings and opinions, especially when curly hair and age get added to the conversation.
I wasn’t looking for a dramatic change, but I did want something that felt less predictable. The shorter layers around my face gave the cut more shape, and the bangs brought back something I hadn’t realized I missed. They make the whole style feel a little more playful and a little less careful.
And that’s the part I’m enjoying most. At this point, I’m less interested in whether a haircut is supposedly “appropriate” and more interested in whether I like what I see in the mirror.
Of course, liking bangs and living with bangs aren’t necessarily the same thing. Curly bangs have their own personality, and some days they’re more cooperative than others.
I’m still figuring out the best way to style them, how much product they need, and when it’s better to just leave them alone. But that’s also part of what I like about this stage of my hair journey. I know my curls well enough now to stop expecting them to look exactly the same every day.
Some days they’re more defined, some days they’re softer, and some days the bangs have ideas of their own. I’ve gotten much better at going with it. One thing I didn’t expect was how much bangs would change the way I wear the rest of my hair.
I’ve never particularly liked how I look with all of my hair pulled back into a ponytail, so outside of working out or playing golf, I rarely wore it that way. And now? I do it all the time.
With the bangs and shorter pieces around my face, a ponytail feels completely different. It’s been especially handy on hot days and on those days when I’m trying to squeeze another day out of my curls before washing them. And since I’m still getting better at understanding what my curls need, I’ll happily take another option that doesn’t require starting from scratch.
As for the curls themselves, I’m still learning there as well. While I’ve been wearing my hair curly for the past two decades, it doesn’t mean that I’ve spent all that time following the same routine. My hair has changed, products have changed, and I’ve gotten much better at recognizing when something is working and when it isn’t.
These days, I’m less concerned with getting every curl perfectly defined and more interested in having hair that feels like me. Some wash days are better than others, but overall, I think I’m finally at peace with the unpredictability of my curls.
For these photos, I’m wearing the third piece from my LINTICO order, the Kalista Wool-Blend Asymmetrical Hem Top in the color Coffee. I included a description of it in my original Lintico post, but this is my first chance to really wear it and show it off now that the weather is cooling down. It’s lightweight for wool, comfortable against the skin, and easy to wear on its own without feeling too heavy.
I paired it with my patchwork print jeans, a denim vest, and rust-colored booties, which kept the look simple and let both the top and my hair do their thing. In the photos below, you can see the high-low hem and the ruching along the side and back. This top seems to run TTS, perhaps even a little small; I could have sized up and still been happy with the fit.
But back to the hair, because that’s really the point of this missive. Still gray. Still curly. Still figuring things out. But also a little more willing to change things up when the mood strikes.
I suppose that’s my version of defying expectations these days. Not doing something dramatic just for the sake of it, but being willing to question whether the old rules deserve any attention at all.
So yes, I’m keeping the gray, keeping the curls, and definitely keeping the bangs. Have you ever made a small change to your hair that ended up making a much bigger difference than you expected?
Stay well and let’s keep in touch! Subscribe, follow, friend, pin … there are several options available. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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Photo credit: MMPerez.
Note: LINTICO provided clothing featured in this post at no cost in exchange for my honest review. All opinions and styling choices are my own. This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through one of these links.
