Turning The Camera Around: The Husband

Have you ever wondered about who’s behind the camera here at this little ol’ blog? Well, then I’ve got a treat for you. And to think that it’s taken a bit over 5 years for me to get around to introducing him to you.

When I first started this blog all those years ago, I had concerns regarding my personal privacy as well as that of my family. Since I hadn’t told any of them about my plans for a blog or that a few posts had already been published, it didn’t feel right to identify any of them by name in those posts. Especially that guy standing next to me who I’ve usually referred to as The Husband.

In those early posts, I would reference or identify the members of my immediate family generically without their names, as in my daughter or my son or my husband. A couple of months in, references to my guy began to occur at the start of paragraphs or sentences with “The husband” instead of “My husband”. Then by early February 2016, my guy came to be otherwise known as “The Husband” (see Floral Embellishments).

It seems not uncommon for bloggers to refer to their significant other with a blog-specific pet name. For instance, I could have dubbed my guy Mr Fine or Mr Whatever but neither of those seemed right for him. Using the basic “my husband” often felt a bit braggish and that too much emphasis might be attributed to “my”. Not because I don’t think that I’m very lucky to have him in my life and that he’s not something to brag about.

By using “the” instead of “my”, I’d hoped to highlight just how significant this man’s presence is to me in my life. And then by capitalizing those words, The Husband became a title by which he could be recognized. In real life, I and nearly everyone else that love and adore him simply call him Mark. The exceptions of course are our children who call him Dad and our nieces and nephews who call him Uncle Mark. And a few others who may have their own preferred moniker for him.

While Mark’s talents may not lay in front of the camera (see his comical attempt at modeling above), he does have many on which to boast. He’s a fantastic photographer, a skilled handyman, an awesome cook, and an avid sunset watcher. Mark is also a wine lover, my thrifting cohort-in-crime, and a lifelong Dodgers fan. Go Blue!

And it goes without saying that at the heart of it all, Mark is also a wonderful and caring husband and father. Son, uncle, nephew, cousin, and friend as well. Not a day goes by that I don’t marvel at how fortunate I am that he finally noticed me.

Oh yes, of course, I’m going to share THAT story. Legend has it that I pined after this handsome guy for a number of years before he finally noticed me. Let me set the stage. Our families had been members of the same congregation since we were young children. Although, since Mark is a few years older than me, we never were in any religious classes together or in the same level of the congregation’s youth organization. His sister is closer to my age but she and I weren’t friends back then. We didn’t attend the same public schools. Our parents had been in the same couples group which did primarily couples activities and not any that included their respective children. There was little going on in our lives that would have brought us together back when we were growing up.

That is until one day when I was in my late teens, I spied Mark as he was working behind the counter at a deli that my parents liked to frequent. And boy did I think he was cute. Every time I’d see him I would hope that he would notice me but he didn’t. I didn’t obsess over him or deliberately go to that deli just to see him. It was merely an interest but one that kind of stuck with me even as time went by.

Over the years, I would hear tidbits of information about him from my parents. They would often share news about the children of the other couples in their group. Later, I came to know that Mark had had a girlfriend for several years and it was fairly serious. So serious that he moved to Phoenix when she moved there and shortly after, they became engaged. At that point, I figured I’d lost any chance I might have had with him but in the same way I’d lost my chance to become a princess when Prince Charles became engaged to Diana. As in it wasn’t meant to happen. Fine, whatever … life goes on. However, a few months later I heard that the engagement was off (Mark’s, not the Prince’s) and that he was moving back to home base. Perhaps I did still have a chance.

It took about a year and a half for that chance to present itself and for the day to occur that he finally noticed me. With our families belonging to the same congregation, it was inevitable that we might both be there at the same time, especially for High Holiday services. Back in those days, members of the congregation had assigned seats for these services, and each year you got the same seats. Mark’s family’s seats were two rows behind mine. With the relationship I’d been in fizzling out, I attended the services that year with the hope that our stars had finally aligned.

About a decade had passed since that first time I’d seen Mark working at that deli and now there was no counter between us. Over the course of the days of the services (there are two evening and two daytime ones about a week apart) it seemed that he was aware of my presence but he didn’t approach me. And despite my more feminist upbringing, I was (and probably still am) a traditionalist when it comes to courting. I do not make the first move. Feeling a little disappointed as I headed home after the last service that we hadn’t “connected” in any way other than a few glances, I began to entertain the thought of asking my mother to talk to his mother. Oh lord, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.

Fortunately, I never needed to do that. The next day there was a message on my answering machine (remember those?) from Mark who had apparently called 411 (remember that, too?) to get my phone number. My maiden name is a bit unique so there was only one potential match and it was me. Yay!!! You can’t imagine my delight upon hearing him ask that I call him so that we might make plans to get together. I waited until the next day, which happened to be my 29th birthday, to return his call. Happy birthday to me! We settled on the upcoming Friday evening for that first “get together” and the rest, as they say, is history.

Which brings to the timing of this post. Today is Mark’s birthday. It’s not a milestone one (the photo below is from a few years ago) but having completed another trip around the sun is always a good reason to celebrate. What better way to honor him than by featuring him in a blog post. On more than one occasion Mark has asked when he would be featured on the blog like I’ve done in my A Woman I Know series so this tribute is long overdue.

You know how they say “good things come to those that wait”? Mark is definitely one of those goods things in my life if not the best. Despite the many storms we have faced over the years, his devotion to me and our family has never wavered. He’s by no means a saint but he has a heart of gold and is always willing to give more than he receives. Mark is willing to lead me on new trails, he’s the Jerry Garcia to my Janis Joplin (whatever that means), and my rock in difficult times. Honestly, I don’t know how he puts up with me.

While there’s a lot more I could tell you about Mark, I’ll stop at this point and save some of that material for another time. Since he has no social media presence, I promise to pass along to Mark any and all comments. In the meanwhile, you’ll most likely find him back behind the camera, on the golf course, or watching a sunset. And when I refer to him as The Husband, you now know why.

Be well and let’s stay in touch! Subscribe, tweet, follow, friend, love, pin … all options are available and waiting for you. I look forward to hearing from you.

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