Dress Codes: Dos And Don’ts Of What To Wear

More often than not, our initial thought upon receiving an invitation for an upcoming celebration is “What’s the dress code?”. Sure, details like the date and location are important to know but also high on the list of need-to-know information are the clues about what I’m expected to wear.

In an embarrassment of riches, my husband and I find ourselves invited to three weddings this summer so the topic of dress codes has been on my mind as I search for a new dress to wear to two of them. One of these weddings will be rather informal, in the couple’s backyard and I already have an option or two to pick from in my closet. The other two are in the Formal/Cocktail range.

The only suitable option I already have is the black dress I bought for the two weddings we attended in 2022. Both had a formal/black tie dress code although one also specified a black and white color scheme. I’d rather not wear that dress to the upcoming weddings primarily because the bridesmaids in one of them are wearing black. A new dress for one wedding is a new dress for both since the only person who will see me wearing the dress twice will be my husband (and he couldn’t care less).

Commonly, you’ll find the suggested dress code including on wedding invitations. Even for other occasions, a host who offers an attire guideline may be looking to create a consistent visual theme and atmosphere which in turn will contribute to the overall ambiance and mood they’re aiming to achieve. No matter the level of formality, the host has likely put significant effort into planning the event, including selecting a dress code that fits the occasion. Following it acknowledges and appreciates their effort.

The invitation is in hand, you’ve been told the dress code, and you’re still confused. What does sporty chic, or beach formal, or dress-to-impress mean? These more ambiguous codes typically come with permission to wear whatever you like. Take a deep breath because options like these allow you free reign on creativity and simply ask that you use your imagination. These quirkier, less traditional dress codes are becoming increasingly popular for weddings as couples look to make their event different and one that will stand out in memory.

If your host has opted to stick with a more traditional dress code, these are some that are frequently chosen (listed from most formal to least) and what they typically mean.

White Tie – For women; Full-length formal evening gown, often accompanied by gloves and elegant jewelry. For men; Tailcoat, white bow tie, white vest, formal white shirt, formal black shoes, and gloves (optional).
Black Tie – For women; Floor-length evening gown or elegant cocktail dress. For men; Tuxedo with a black bow tie, black vest or cummerbund, white formal shirt, black formal shoes.
Formal or Black Tie Optional – For women; Long dress, dressy separates, or a formal cocktail dress. For men; Tuxedo or a dark suit with a tie.
Semi-Formal Or Cocktail – For women; Cocktail dress, dressy skirt and top, or a stylish jumpsuit. For men; Suit and tie, typically in darker shades for evening events and lighter shades for daytime events.
Casual – For women; Summer dress, skirt and blouse, or dressy pants and top. For men; Dress pants or chinos with a button-down shirt or polo shirt. Jackets are optional.
Festive – For women; Cocktail dresses with bold colors or patterns, stylish jumpsuits. For men; Suits with a fun tie or colorful shirt.
Garden Or Outdoor – For women; Flowy dresses, skirts and blouses, or dressy pants and tops. Comfortable footwear suitable for walking on grass. For men; Light-colored suits or dress pants with a button-down shirt. Ties are optional, depending on the formality.

It goes without saying that the time of day, the time of year, and the location also need to be considered when deciding what to wear. Daytime weddings tend to be more casual than evening ones. What will the weather likely be? If the venue is entirely indoors, the expected weather is not a huge factor. If any part of the event is outdoors, especially in the evening, then you may need to plan for a sweater or jacket. If any of the events take place on grass or an uneven surface, then stilettos may not be the best choice for footwear.

Regarding some specific dos and don’ts of what to wear to a wedding, you might want to keep the following in mind.

Do up the glam level of your make-up and hair. It’ll put the emphasis on you rather than your outfit.
Do be slightly over-dressed rather than risk being under-dressed. It’s never wrong to look your best.
Do wear shoes with an elevated style that also have a modicum of comfort. There is a wide range of options between flip-flops and 4″ stilettoes that you won’t need to kick off as soon as the party gets started.

Don’t wear white (or near-white shades) unless stated otherwise on the invitation. Never, full stop.
Don’t dress like you’re a member of the bridal party if no color scheme is requested.
Don’t ignore the dress code. It will help to prevent you from feeling out of place or uncomfortable.

Style Notes For Today’s Look

While I have a top contender option for the two formal weddings, I haven’t made a final decision yet. I’ll keep you posted on my progress. However, it shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows me that I’ve already found shoes that will work no matter the dress I choose. They are sandals with a block heel (we’ll be on grass at one of the venues) and a platform that minimizes the net heel height for comfort as well as shine for a bit of whimsy.

The floral frock ensemble I’m wearing this post is one that I might consider for the backyard wedding. I wore it last month to the bridal shower for one of the upcoming weddings. The invitation called for a “garden party” theme and I think I met the challenge.

While the importance of following the dress code on an invitation can be debated, they are offered to prevent you from feeling out of place or underdressed. Adherence shows respect, helps you fit in, and contributes to the overall atmosphere of the event. By doing so, you acknowledge the hosts’ preferences and it makes you a considerate guest.

Stay well and let’s keep in touch! Subscribe, follow, friend, pin … all options are available. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

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Photo credit: MMPerez

Note: This is an unsponsored post; however, some or all of the links to clothing items are associated with an affiliate program where I earned a few cents for each click.

Now, onto the Fine-Whatever link-up. Contributed by Donna over at Donna.Walmsley101, the featured post from last week’s link-up is Repurposing From Thrift.