While I would normally publish a Would You, Could You post for the second link-up of the month, I thought that the topic of love languages would be more fitting considering today’s date. A while back, I was talking with my daughter and a friend of hers about the post I wrote on my Personality Type test results and as we compared notes, one of them asked if I knew what my love language was. I didn’t and apparently, there’s a test for that too.
For those who may be unfamiliar with the reference, a book titled “The 5 Love Languages” was originally written in 1992 by Gary Chapman, a pastor and marriage counselor. I’m neither of his faith nor are The Husband and I in need of counseling. However, the idea of identifying how I prefer to give and receive love intrigued me. After all, what’s the harm in learning more about one’s motivations?
The test I took can be found on the 5 Love Languages website. It’s a series of questions with just two response choices and it takes less than 10 minutes to complete. When you’re done, you’ll get a chart that looks like the one on the left. Of course, the test is intended to raise your interest in buying the book (which I didn’t) and there’s not a lot of “free” information about the specifics of the love languages. For that, I found this article on the website verywellmind. The author does a great job of briefing describing each and outlining how they can apply in daily life.
The 5 love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. The original premise behind “love languages” is that in recognizing and understanding your partner’s preferences for giving and receiving love and vice versa, your relationship can be strengthened. It’s hard to argue that the relationship with one’s partner is likely the most important one we have other than the one with ourselves. Even so, wouldn’t knowing one’s love language help with all other relationships in your life? That’s my thinking and reasoning behind this exploration.
Like with personality traits, we all speak a bit of each of the love languages; just some more than others. As you can see from my test result, “acts of service” is what’s high on my list and therefore considered my primary love language. Something along the lines of “actions speak louder than words”, I feel most loved when someone does something for me and more specifically when it is done spontaneously or without my asking. Coming in second are my reactions to “words of affirmation” and expressions of affection through what someone says in praise or appreciation.
It’s not surprising to me that “receiving gifts” is ranked the lowest despite my love for shopping. As time has gone by, I’ve come to realize that I tend to way overthink the importance of finding the right gift which then leads to feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. And even though I get fully invested in making the selections and wrapping the gifts, I’ve often come away with feeling a bit let down when they weren’t well received. Best to stick with “acts of service” I think.
Relating this all to The Husband and my relationship, there’s a sweet story I’ll share. About a week ago, I declared to The Husband that I’d not be touching the remaining two boxes of GS cookies he’d bought for me and that I would give them to our daughter since I’d consumed the first two boxes in as many days. A day or so later, we heard a commercial on the car radion for an item described as being the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day. This item was one that I wouldn’t want (and he wouldn’t buy for me anyway) so I jokingly said “don’t get that for me for Valentine’s Day”.
The Husband’s reply was that he hadn’t planned to get me anything because he “doesn’t do Valentine’s Day”. “Not even a box of chocolates?” I pouted in response. He then proceeded to remind me of my earlier declaration regarding the GS cookies. I countered that a heart-shaped box of chocolates was not at all the same as cookies to which he said that I wasn’t making a lot of sense and that they were exactly the same. It was a light-hearted exchange, mostly said in jest. We usually don’t make a big deal about Valentine’s Day anyway.
I thought the subject closed until I was looking for something at my desk the other day and opened the apron drawer finding a heart-shaped box of chocolates. A sampler of four pieces … just enough to satisfy my sweet tooth without overindulging. While “receiving gifts” is not my primary love language nor that of The Husband’s, I got the message loud and clear about how much I am loved by that box of chocolate.
Outfit details: Jacket, J Jill (thrifted for $.99); Sweater, A New Day; Patched jeans, Kut From The Kloth (thrifted); Booties, Journee Collection; Heart pendant, unknown (thrifted).
Let’s Wrap This Up
Now, onto the Fine-Whatever link-up. My featured blogger from last week’s link-up post is Alli who you may have seen over at Simply Small Town. Alli writes about her experiences learning how to adult as well as shares her passion for finding ways to connect with and help struggling youth. Imagine my delight when I saw that she and I had bought the same sweater but in different colors and then, of course, realized that I had to share that happy coincidence.
Have you given any thought to how you express and/or receive love? Is it actions or words or touch that you respond to most deeply? How astute are you at recognizing the preferences that others may have? And with today as the official day of love, I hope that you are shown some from those around you and that you share it back.
Stay well and let’s keep in touch! Subscribe, tweet, follow, friend, pin … all options are available. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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Note: This is an unsponsored post; however, some or all of the links to clothing items are associated with an affiliate program where I earned a few cents for each click.
Photos: MMPerez
26 Comments
We had a family Valentine’s day dinner last night and it was really fun to celebrate as a family. We don’t usually do much for Valentine’s day but hubby typically gets me a card and flowers. He went out of town today so didn’t but I actually am glad as I really don’t mind. I probably would say him doing something like doing the dishes or cleaning my car would be what I would love but I probably would have to communicate that with him. I think time is what I love the most though: being able to hang out in the evenings or going on a walk or a date is what I love the most. I should take that test =)
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
The whole idea of Valentine’s day can easily get out of hand and set a precedence that you have to continually live up to! We do exchange cards and have a slightly special dinner which we enjoy and my husband is an angel in the kitchen anyway. I’m lucky enough to receive flowers most Fridays when he goes into town so they’re already in the vase!
This was interesting Rena! I took the quiz and for me, Quality time was my #1 love language, with Acts of Service a 2nd.
So many ways to show love to your sig. other. We spent the day at a Vineyard, brought the pups and enjoyed truffles and wine pairings while listening to music. I enjoy going to an event together over recieving jewelry etc.. The burgundy and little touches with your heart necklace is a lovely casual vday look.
Enjoy the week!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
Your husband gets an A+!
Happy Valentine’s day to you!
Great party! Thanks for taking the time to host. Have a great week.
The idea of “love languages” is intriguing. I think I also value acts of service (or kindness). It’s sweet that your husband hid the small box of Valentine chocolates in the drawer for you. Thanks for hosting the link-up!
Carol
http://www.scribblingboomer.com
Fun post and super cute outfit, Rena! I am a having a good chuckle because I wrote today about how I do not like receiving material gifts at all and how my husband reframed his non-gift Valentine’s Day gift. Haha.
Shelbee
Fun post, we don’t celebrate Valentines day, but have lots of lovely times on all the other days. Thanks for hosting today Rena. Jacqui x
Going to take the test.
And, maybe taking the test to see my relationship to myself!
Thanks for all the informative links.
I’m linking a recent fiber art piece.
Thank you so much for the link up Rena! Happy Valentine’s Day!
xo,
Kellyann
Valentines Day is not such a big deal here. We don’t even do anything about it. But it was very sweet of your husband to get you some chocolates!
Definitely acts of service. We don’t celebrate or mark Valentine’s Day. But my husband did dig out 3 roses for me today.
It’s funny because we know our spouses love us, but sometimes it’s these random acts that really say how much!!!
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Such an interesting post. Thanks for sharing this. Hope you had a great V Day.
https://www.bauchlefashion.com/2022/01/how-to-get-fashion-editors-office-style.html?m=1
Words of affirmation and then gifts are mine.
What an interesting post, Rena! My daughter gave me that book to read years and years ago. I may even still have it around…I never read it, though! I know my love language is gifts…both giving and receiving. I am that person who spends hours picking out just the right gift always knowing it may be returned. I can’t explain it, but I’m just as happy if they have to return it as I would be if they kept it. It’s the actual giving part that makes me happy. Call me crazy! I think you make a valid point though in the service part…but, I only really give gifts to my kids, grandkids, and husband…and I’m doing things for them all of the time! Words of affirmation do not come to me as easily as giving a gift. I’m not saying that right, but while I praise my kids, I don’t just spontaneously say something to them. Anyway, I’ve written a blog post here…haha!
Thanks for the link up! Come visit me on Thursday for a link up!
https://marshainthemiddle.com
I took the love language test a few years back. My primary love languages are physical touch and quality time. With my husband, I tend to use them all except gift giving. While we both would be happy to give each other anything the other wanted, it’s just not high in importance to either of us.
Those jeans are super cute, Rena!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
Quality time and acts of service are my love languages. Love your outfit!
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com
Love is shown by all the little things you do for each other…every day. That is our way. x
The embellished jeans are so fun on you and I love the striped top with them! 🙂
It’s sweet your hubby got you the chocolates – sometimes it’s nice to feel heard! 🙂 I did the love languages test a while back, while hubby and I were dating! and it was really interesting. I find it so easy to see my kids love languages. One of them is physical touch and we joke that that’s how he gets his energy – he saps it from other people by touching them in some way. He loves sprawling across our laps during family movie night! It’s good as a hug can help calm him down and centre him when he gets upset! 🙂
Thanks for the link up!
Hope your week is off to a good start! Another wet week here 🙂
I think acts of service is very much our love language! We exchanged cards on Valentine’s Day and I bought him some booze…not overly romantic, but then he is getting up at 4am for work all week so we couldn’t go out anyway. I love your embellished jeans!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
It’s been years since I’ve taken that quiz and it would be fun to revisit and try it again with the hubby! Thanks for the reminder! We exchanged small gifts, but mostly like spending time together on Valentine’s.
Love your sweater! Thanks for the party!
I should have my husband and I retake that questionnaire again for the love languages, because I feel we have changed a lot in the 9 years we’ve been married. For instance, I think I used to be a lot bigger on receiving gifts, but now I feel like acts of kindness are more my jam as a tired and busy mom. I love your denim, so fun! And, that sweater and necklace go so well together. I hope you had a wonderful V-Day!
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
My love language is Quality Time- closely followed my Acts of Service.
Your husband is so sweet for buying that little box of chocolates, Rena! We didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day—I joked about receiving a gift but it clearly didn’t make any difference LOL! I think I probably most respond to actions, although words comes pretty close. But nothing is as wonderful as a hug, is it?! Great post, Rena!
Hugs
Suzy xx