Some might think that there’s a fine line between defining long-held items as family heirlooms or as junk. Whatever these “treasures” may be called, over time most of us wind up collecting a lot of it.
Whether it’s a dusted-off treasure from years past, or an item that was bought from a thrift store, or perhaps a well-worn favorite that’s been given new life, that fashion find is covered under the Reclaim-Recycle-Reuse theme. But clothing isn’t the only stuff that is acquired secondhand. Passed down from a previous generation (or two or three), you likely have some family heirlooms that hold within them more memories than tangible, marketable value. But what of the items that do have monetary value?
The Husband and I have each had to tackle this issue in recent years when it came time to sell our respective parents’ homes and figure out what to do with all of their belongings. While the whole of the process isn’t without its struggles, some of the decisions were easy enough. Most everyday items like furniture and household goods hold little sentimental value but there might still be challenges as to how to either sell/gift/donate them. The same holds true with most clothing items.
Things start to get murkier when it comes to items typically considered as family heirlooms, such as collectibles and jewelry. Perhaps due in equal measure to their value as well as the more personal nature of those items, it seems that these are the items that can pose the greatest challenge when deciding on what to do with them. Some of us may have limited space so just packing them away for the next generation to deal with may not be a reasonable option. For others, those items don’t suit the person’s tastes but still represent a connection to the departed loved one.
Back in February, I shared how The Husband and I have been assessing some of these types of items that have accumulated over the years (see Be Still My Heart). Not only the ones passed onto us from our parents but also those we had acquired at one time or another but now have little useful purpose in our daily lives. Hoarders we are not, however, neither of us wants to pass onto our children the burden of discarding excessive personal possessions. Before this post completely veers into morbid, nobody has been diagnosed with a terminal disease; there’s no urgency to deal with this other than we have the time and ability to do so now.
My point is about dealing with excessive possessions and how our efforts towards that can have the benefit of “lightening our load” so to speak. And growing our bank account. More specifically, my reason for bringing up this topic today is that we recently got around to taking action with a few more of our family heirlooms. This time around it was jewelry. While my parents had designated a few family heirlooms that they wanted to be passed along to their grandchildren, the disposition of most of the rest of their jewelry has been left to my sister and me. At some point after our mother’s passing, we held a mini family conclave to sort through it all.
Most of our mother’s costume jewelry was stolen during a robbery of her home that occurred after she moved into an assisted living facility. Fortunately, a few pieces were overlooked and my mother had already gifted some to me and my sister. I’ve included a couple of them in today’s outfit which I will point out shortly. Even more fortunate, the “good jewelry” was still in a safety deposit box at the bank or was in the safe at my sister’s house.
The remaining lot of “good jewelry” consisted of a dozen or so 14k gold chain necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. Also among her fine jewelry were a number of rings, also 14k gold, which have various sizes of diamonds and other precious gems (photos above). While my mother had an affinity for tasteful items, her tastes and my tastes mostly did not align. The five rings in the left photo are not what I would call “family heirlooms” because they don’t have any particular sentimental value other than having belonged to my mother. On the right, the kite-shaped ring (it’s upsidedown in the image) had been my father’s but I don’t recall when or why he/they bought it. The ring with the solitaire surrounded by a pear-shaped ring of smaller diamonds is a reset of my mother’s original wedding set which she wore all the time. The ring above it and the pendant at the bottom had belonged to a great aunt.
My sister and I had been undecided about what to do with the “good jewelry”. Neither of us would wear any of these pieces nor would our daughters (nor would our sons wear their grandfather’s ring). And if we weren’t going to wear them, perhaps we should sell them. Another idea that had come up was to use some of the diamonds to create matching legacy pieces for my sister, my niece, my daughter, and myself.
We had no idea of what the rings as well as the other jewelry might be worth. Our parents had copies of appraisals for each of the more valuable pieces done decades ago but we weren’t sure that we could rely on those. An acquaintance of The Husband owns a pawnshop and he arranged for his store manager to look at the jewelry and provide us with an assessment of their worth. Besides doing that, the manager was helpful in identifying pieces that we thought were fine jewelry as gold-plated costume. We also took the four rings with the biggest diamonds to a jewelry store for a more specific assessment of those gems.
With this added information, we four ladies had another chat. In discussing the issue with my daughter earlier, I’d already said that I wasn’t interested in a legacy piece for myself but I would support the creation of pieces for the others. It turned out that my sister felt the same so that meant it was then up to our daughters. Both of them liked that idea with specifics to be worked out at a later time. Ultimately, we were able to sell the chains, bracelets, and earrings for a nice sum and the rings will be in safekeeping for the time being.
As for family heirlooms in my outfit, the nautical-themed pins I’m wearing on my lapel had been my mother’s. They are not vintage but they do represent the small sliver of alignment of our vastly different style tastes, a bit of bling is a good thing. Also belonging to my mother was one of the two similar CZ tennis bracelets I’ve got on.
As for the rest of the look, the jacket, blouse, and jeans were all thrift store finds. The blouse is the same as the one shown in Thrift Store Finds & OOTDs: March 2021 when I’d also worn it with a striped jacket and denim. My shoes have been lurking around in my closet for over 15 years which makes them contenders for the oldest among that lot. If my daughter and I wore the same size, I bet that she’d like to take them off my hands (but alas, we’re not). Both the blouse and the shoes have a floral pattern which goes along with a sub-theme of mayflowers that I’ve been prompting myself with this month as I work up to my 21 in ’21 post for May.
The other day I was thinking that I wished my mother had passed along some vintage clothing despite our misalignment of tastes. The few pieces I do have came to me from a great aunt and although they are too small for me, I still treasure them. I’ve only come upon thrifting and secondhand fashion in the last 5 years or so and I don’t think that my mother would have understood the slow-fashion/sustainability movement. Another example of how our style sensibilities didn’t align.
Let’s Wrap This Up
Now, onto the Fine-Whatever link-up. My featured blogger from last week is Leelo, an Estonian beauty, lifestyle, and fashion blogger who you’ll find sharing her inspirations in two languages on Beauty By Miss L.
How many family heirlooms have you collected over the years? Do they bring you joy or are they just taking up closet space? And what’s your opinion on thrift store and resell shopping? ย Does the idea of wearing someone else’s old clothes give you the heebie-jeebies? ย Is secondhand and sustainability just a passing trend for those who can afford more or is it a smart way to live “greener” and reduce one’s carbon footprint?
Stay well and letโs keep in touch! Subscribe, tweet, follow, friend, pin โฆ all options are available. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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Note: This is an unsponsored post; however, some or all of the links to clothing items are associated with an affiliate program where I earned a few cents for each click.
29 Comments
Those pieces are gorgeous, but like you say, if you have no use for it! I do have some pieces from my mom…but very few- we too got robbed when I still lived at home- and it’s so tragic because she had ancient Venetian pieces from her own grandmother. Seriously- I don’t know why those weren’t kept in a security box at the bank! Learned our lesson the hard way. Great post- have a wonderful weekend my friend- the sun is so bright in Montreal this morning!!
Lucy, Iโm glad that you liked this post. Thanks for reading.
I wear so little jewellery that it would be wasted on me too. My mother in law’s jewellery went to her two granddaughters. My older girl loves the ring she got and wears it as her engagement ring. I imagine my other daughter will sell hers. I like the pieces you kept.
Hilda, I can understand that family jewelry may not be for everyone.
So many of us, at that certain age, have gone through this with our respective parents. This post was so packed with things I’ve done and things I think about when it comes to our daughters. I do have some of Mom’s costume jewelry but don’t think I’ve worn an of it-just seem to take it out once and a while and reminisce.
I like your nautical theme. It’s putting a few ideas in my head!
Terri, itโs just another of those little discussed challenges we face as adults that I figured would resonate with many who are in the same stage of life.
I have several vintage brooches that were my grandmother’s but rarely wear them. This is reminding me to pull them out! I love your nautical inspired pins!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Jill, I would love to see how youโd style those brooches. I have quite a collection of them that I definitely need to incorporate more into my outfits.
The florals + stripes + nautical pins combination is terrific, and of course I love the boat backdrop you used for the photos!
The family heirlooms are such a conundrum. Both of my grandmothers collected glassware. Totally not my thing. I tried keeping a piece here and there for awhile, but despite the lovely reminder of my grandmothers, still not my thing. My mother and I do have some of their jewelry that I do like, and Iโve been thinking I need to make more of an effort to wear them. I appreciate this reminder.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
Michelle, it was difficult to sell many of my motherโs treasured belongings because as you said, they werenโt our thing. And why should be obligated to hang onto them?
I love the idea of remaking the jewelry into something else. That’s what my stepmom did with her wedding ring (from my dad after he passed away). It was made into a bracelet and now she wears it more.
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Jodie, it sounds like Nancy make a great choice for herself with remaking her wedding ring.
To re use the items is a good idea. I have some jewelry to that I never wear. But I had the wedding rings from my grand parents made to one.
I’m sure that you must treasure that special ring, Nancy.
This outfit is so cute on you!
Thank you, Amy.
Great post, Rena! I love that your daughter and your niece do want to create some personalized heirloom pieces with the gems in these rings! And I really like this outfit with the mixed prints and your adorable nautical pins. Speaking of nautical, that is the June theme for The Good Buy Book so hopefully you will join us! Have a fabulous week, my friend!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Thank you, Shelbee. I’m glad that you liked the post. I did notice that the next GB/GB theme is nautical so I’ll definitely be sending in a photo from this post. ๐
I think that is a wonderful idea! My mom and I’s taste are very similar so the day she passes, I probably will keep some items for sentimental value. I have a few things of my grandmother’s that I should take out, I can think of two pendant necklaces in particular.
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
I love the idea of a legacy piece!
Aww! I’m so happy and grateful to be featured on your blog! Thank you!
I own my grandmother’s silver ring. I used to wear it daily when I was younger and only wore silver jewelry, but once I started wearing more gold, the ring has been sitting in my jewelry drawer.
The only thing I own that belonged to my later mother (she died when I was 13) is a watch that is worth nothing, except for its sentimental value to me. It doesn’t work, but I love it because it belonged to her. I do, however, have a few pieces that belonged to my husband’s late stepmother which I treasure. The items she left to me that I knew I wouldn’t wear, we sold and bought a rind instead. Sadly, that ring was lost during a holiday a few years ago. I was gutted.
I love your outfit, Rena. The photos are gorgeous – what a lovely backdrop!
hugs
Suzy xx
I have been through that process. It was a lot at the time. I am not a collector of things, but I did take one piece of jewelry and one item that reminded me of my family member. As far as thrifting, I have done that when I went through my painting furniture phase, but haven’t thrifted clothes….yet ๐
Melanie
https://midlifevitality.com
Melanie, thanks for stopping by and commenting. For me, it’s was both a blessing and a curse to have to go through the process. It is nice to have momentoes for the memories they hold.
I’ve heard a lot about Swedish death cleaning but never done anything about it, haha! I have a few old sentimental pieces of jelwerey (like a ring I wore as a kid, a bracelet I wore as a baby and some necklaces) that I don’t wear but I keep just for sentimental reasons – not sure my boys will want to keep those things when they are older! When my grandparents passed away, my grandfather didn’t have a lot left, although my mum got some of his clothes and accessories. With my grandmother, she had a charm bracelet she wore every day. each grandkid got to pick a charm to wear of of it, and on my 21st birthday my Grandfather bought me a charm bracelet so I could put the charm on there. I think my boys would probably be more interested in my charm bracelet than any of the old things I kept, as they’d have memories of me wearing it!
Definitely an interesting thing to think about though!
Hope you’re having a great week ๐
Mica, I’ve never heard of “Swedish death cleaning” (I’ll need to look that up). Sentimental pieces are nice to have and you might surprised what your sons might cherish having of yours in the future.
Sorry, I missed out on the link-party, Rena! Your mom’s rings are gorgeous – I think she and I would have gotten along! I have many pieces of jewelry from my paternal and maternal grandmothers as well as a bunch of things that I nicked from my mom when I was in high school. I think you are well aware that I love secondhand clothes!
I like the idea that was done for my husband’s grandmother’s funeral – there was a table covered in her brooch collection (all the valuable and family-meaningful ones had been taken already) and guests were encouraged to take a piece to remember her by.
Sheila, it’s never too late … there’s always another party. I did think that this post might ring your bell. I like that idea about your husband’s grandmother’s brooches being offered to those attending her funeral. Quite clever of the family to handle it that way.